I Won’t expose my body!

Why do teens and teens dress so provocative?  Parents are you ready for the answer?  They dress this way because you allow it!  Young ladies can't wear provocative clothing if their parents don't buy provocative clothing.
Parents stop caving in to the madness that is supposed to be fashion for teenagers today.  Your daughter is not holding a gun to your head, (at least I hope not) demanding that you buy her provocative clothes.  Its your money and you choose what to spend it on.  Actually, even when it is your daughter's money, you still get to say what she spends it on because she lives under your roof and you are the parent!  If your daughter goes shopping with her friends and you are not present, you should inspect her purchases.  If there is something that is inappropriate, you should take her back to the store so that she can return it.
I am sick and tired (yes I went there) of looking at young girls showing cleavage and butt cheeks.  I'm not going to discuss the camel toe issue.  Girls are wearing their clothes  so tight that it seems as if they can't breathe.  While volunteering at a school, I was selling school uniform shirts to the new students.  Every girl wanted to buy a shirt that was one or two sizes too small.  I had no problem telling them that I was not going to sell them a shirt that was too small.
Teenagers should look their age.  They are not supposed to look sexy.  How many of you want a grown man lusting after your daughter because she is dressed provocatively and she looks like a grown woman?
I realize that teenagers can be creative when they get dressed.  Girls want to cut jeans into short shorts.  They want to cut a slit in their t-shirts so that their cleavage shows.   Girls want to cut holes in their jeans to show a little skin or a trace of their underwear. It part of a parents' job to filter and discuss the things that their children are exposed to.  Parents need to let their daughters know what is acceptable and what is not.
Teenagers will be teenagers so they may change their clothes after leaving home.  I get it!  Most teenagers that change clothes and put on make-up after leaving home, at some point will forget to return to their original look before coming home.  I believe that if you instill the fear of consequence in your kids, these sneaky episodes will be minimal.
As parents, it is our job to teach our daughters to respect themselves and to demand respect from others.  When teenagers dress in a provocative manner, they are inviting disrespect from males young and old.
Don't worry parents, your sons have not been spared.  In the future, I will address the issue of boys and young men showing their underwear, eeewwww!

Written by: Toyosi Adeogun

Edited by: Oguntuga Liz Jaiyefunke

What Teens Fear Most: Nomophobia,......

• ·         Nomophobia: Some teens are so dependent on their mobile phones that they see them as an extension of themselves and experience a sense of dread when they are separated from them, a syndrome dubbed "NoMo phobia".

It's a fear of not having with you a functioning mobile phone. Mobile phones have really become almost a body part for young people.

"(They're) absolutely indispensable, you could not go out without it, it's your lifeline, your major vehicle through which you arrange your social life."

For teens, a mobile phone is their primary social tool -- they use it to make calls, text message, post updates on Twitter and check their Facebook. "They've becoming increasingly important tools of socialisation.

If their mobile goes awry "it's social death.

"No other time in your life is the desire to socialise and be with your age mates strong as in adolescence.

"Adolescence is all about socialising.

"Many kids stay up very, very late at night texting one another" There is no question that the most sleep deprived segment of the population now is, in fact, young people.

·         Fear of Failing
I know, sometimes we act like we don’t care. We act like getting a C in an examination  is no big deal, but usually this is a cover. We want to succeed and do well just as much as you want us to. We fear failing on an academic level, in our relationships, in our friendships and even on home projects. I think as a teen, our self-esteem and self-confidence are extremely delicate, so when we fail it is a real blow and we cannot recover as quickly as most adults.

·         Fear of Disappointing You
Yes, parents put a lot of pressure on us. Whenever I did badly on tests, I had to not only deal with my own disappointment of not doing well, but then announcing it to my parents and dealing with their anger/ disappointment/ punishment—its really rough.

·         Fear of Being Misunderstood
I mean this on many levels. Many of the teens I asked, said they feared friends not liking an outfit or the way they looked. They feared someone defacing their Facebook page and having gossip spread at school. They feared their parents over-reacting and freaking out about something they did. I call this fear of being misunderstood because, as teens, everything we do is about experimenting with our image, identity and persona. We want to perfectly portray who we are…yet, we do not even know that ourselves!

Respect is reciprocal...

Everyone is worthy of respect as an individual. Every person is a human being created in the image of God with a purpose and place in life. If we operate by this standard, we dignify other human beings by treating them as we ourselves wish to be treated. Isn’t that the Golden Rule all about?
If we do not operate by this standard, we demean and dismiss others according to our own prejudices.
What goes around comes around. In other words, if we want to be respected, we must respect others. If we don’t give respect, we won’t get it either. Respect is not something that is to be demanded, it must be earned.
I read these following lines that touched my soul and made me realize how we take few people in our lives for granted… These few lines changed the way I think of the people I have been blessed with and the way I treat them.
I decided to share with my all friends, these few lines and hope it would touch your heart as well:

Think of all the people with whom you come into regular contact – family, friends, customers, clients, colleagues. They all touch your life in some unique or special way. How many of these people know that you respect them for what they do and who they are? You may admire them, but have you said so? Tell them. Show them. Give them the respect they deserve. Make your respect for them tangible. It’s what makes the world go around.

Ever notice that the people you automatically respect from the start, you usually find out they think highly of you too? Maybe its the fact that our body language clearly tells the other person what we think of them. The pattern I've noticed is when I meet someone who I automatically like they seem to be cynical of me at first but I always without fail befriend them rapidly. The people who I don't like from the start its a long and slow process, I slowly start gaining respect for them and the same thing seems to happen on the other end. It usually takes a few months for me to befriend people I don't respect from the start. The old saying "it takes respect to get respect" coincides with my experience. What about all of you?

Am I In Love?

You feel very strongly for another person and want to know if what you're feeling is the real deal. Ask yourself these difficult questions.

Here's How:

1. Ask yourself: 'Would I be willing to let her/him go if I believed it was the best thing?'
2. Ask yourself: 'Am I willing to wait for this person if s/he is not ready to have sex?'
3. Ask yourself: 'Would I feel the same way if s/he gained weight?'
4. Ask yourself: 'Am I willing to sacrifice my dreams to allow her/his dreams to come true?'
5. Ask yourself: 'Do I respect and admire her/him?'
6. Ask yourself: 'Would I feel the same way if s/he got sick?'
7. Ask yourself: 'If you two were in an argument, would you feel the same way?'
8. If you answered 'No' to any of these questions, think about why you gave that answer. Is it a lack of trust? Is it because you're afraid? Is it selfishness? Do you need more time to get to know each other?
9. If you answered 'Yes' to all of these questions, wow, you feel very strongly about this person. It sounds like you're in love!

Tips:

1. If you're wondering if you're in love, this is often because you might base a decision on your answer. Be careful! Decisions should not be based just on the feeling of 'love'. You should also look at respect, commitment and trust.
2. Ask yourself what it means to you if you believe you're in love. Don't put pressure on yourself to define what you're feeling as love. And don't let anyone else pressure you either.
3. If you're not sure of the answer right now. Give it some time and ask yourelf these questions a few months or a year down the road. You might be surprised to see how your feelings change.

The 6 Most Important Decisions Your Teen Will Ever Make

 Life is about choices, and the decisions your teen makes today can affect her life in years to come, long after high school is over. Here are six key decisions you should discuss with your child: 

• School: How does your teen plan to spend his years in school? Does he take his studies seriously? Talk openly with your teen about his educational experience. Brainstorm together on ways he can make the most of his high school years.
• Friends: How does your child choose her friends? Does she surround herself with people that lift her up and make her feel supported? Does she worry that she is "supposed to be" friends with a certain crowd of people? How does she feel about popularity? Make sure to have an open dialogue with your teen about all the different aspects of choosing friends, and the complications that can arise with maintaining those relationships.
•  Parents: How is your relationship with your teen? Make sure he knows you are always going to be there for him, but that he needs to respect you and the boundaries you set. As he begins to crave more freedom and fewer restrictions from you, it will be important that he understands that those freedoms come with additional responsibilities. Keeping the lines of communication open is essential.
• Dating & Sex: How does your teen feel about dating, and what does she know about sex? This can be the most difficult of the 6 decisions for you to discuss with your teen, but it is arguably one of the most important. Let your teen talk openly about her feelings, desires, and fears, but make sure she is crystal clear on the serious risks, both physical and emotional, that come with any serious romantic relationship. Brainstorm together on ways she can keep dating "safe." Talk openly about group dates, curfews, and other ideas for keeping her love life in a place that is comfortable for both of you.
• Addictions: Does your teen recognize the serious dangers that accompany alcohol and drug use or does his attitude seem a little flippant? Listen to what your teen has to say about drugs and alcohol, and encourage him to be truthful about any experimentation he, or even his friends, have engaged in. Curiosity is normal in teens, but nothing is more vital than ensuring your child makes it out of his teen years with his mind and body intact and under his own control.
• Self-Worth: Of all the 6 decisions, this can be the one that truly determines how your child will face the other 5. If your teen learns to see herself in the best light possible, learns to love herself - flaws and all - the temptations of drugs, drinking, blowing off school, and sex before she is ready won't seem so tempting. Ask your teen how much she feels she is worth. Help her examine her life and figure out ways she can avoid compromising her character.

Sure, talking to your teen can be difficult. But caring for your teen through a drug or alcohol addiction, an unwanted pregnancy, or even failing grades can be a lot worse. The more you share, and the more you truly listen to your teen, the easier it will be to communicate in the future. Use the above 6 decisions as a guideline, and let your teen know you are really interested in what she has to say. You'll be amazed where the conversation takes you.